Mom and Pop Discipleship

1 Thessalonians 2:7 But we were gentle among you like a nursing mother taking care of her children
1Thessalonians 2:11 For you know how, like a father with his children, 12 we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of the God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory


It is my least favorite thing in the world. Yesterday, the schedule demanded that Evie and I split up with two kids each until we were to rendezvous at about 11:00, so I could deliver Alison back to her after softball. I was coaching Cal's basketball team at 11:30 , so I had little wiggle room in the schedule. As I pulled up, hoping to escort Alison to the door and zoom off to play hoops, Evie met me at the door. "You need to take Eli to the bathroom" she said sternly as she handed me his hand. Turns out, Eli was rebelling against her at every turn as Evie was trying to take care of her and Luke at a birthday party. Eli had sensed her divided attention and exploited it at every turn, thus stern discipline was in a huge demand. So to the bathroom we went. Hard and soft love were applied to Eli, and his whole thought process was restructured as a result. They went to another party while we were playing hoops, and he was an angel. It is amazing how we all need both discipline and comfort in our lives.

That is exactly what Paul is saying about his discipling process in Thessalonica. He appeals to their sense of parenting to help them see what effective ministry looks like. Paul says we held you like a nursing mother and we all kind of say "aww!, that is so sweet Paul" and we can embrace that totally. But then look what follows, like a father we exhorted you, encouraged you and charged you. This tone seems a little like a gunny Sargent. Paul's saying there were times when we had to demand sternly that you look to Christ and build faith. He says like a father we charged you with firm words that the grace of God is not cheap. When you look at Paul's words you can see the healthy balance of ministry, expressed in a picture of a healthy parenting. There is a needed balance when we raise kids, and in all of our spiritual lives.

Maybe it is just me since I am the father figure, but doesn't it seem like we have lost a lot of the firm fathering in both the family and in the Church. We seem to have become soft in our desires, bellies, parenting and our walks with Christ. We really want the soft words and warm hugs, and it seems that hard firm words of grace-led truth are met with a "it is too much for me" rejection almost across the board. If we want to raise healthy families and healthy disciples we must walk with both the Lion and the Lamb. Christ himself is the pinnacle of both of these expressions and therefore the explanation point of this thought. We should walk in a healthy fear of Him as Lion, while He provides the comfort of the Lamb.

How does your faith look as you think through this? Is it a single parent faith with the father absent? If you want a quick test, take a look at your kids, if you have them. Our spiritual life always spills over into our parenting and reveals itself the quickest as it reproduces itself in our children. Do your kids have a healthy "grace-enabled fear and respect" for their parents? If not and they are running the show then you have your answer. It is hard in our culture today, but we must rear up our children and disciples with firmness and tenderness simultaneously and continuously -that is God's design.